I Can Sit For Hours And Hours

Sometimes I can sit for hours and hours and think about everything or nothing or something - and if someone was to ask me "what are you doing?" I'd just say "nothing". 

I'd be lying of course because I was thinking, but then they might ask me for my thoughts and I'm not going to tell them!. 

Not their business - I might have told my Mum but she's not here any more so I'd tell no-one. 

My life is really a series of stops and starts and it all comes from a series of thoughts that come from I have no idea where. 

Sometimes I have thoughts I don’t understand, I have absolutely no idea why they're here or mean, they're not even about anything I feel or want but there they are running around inside my head having a good time - and sometimes they make me smile.

I wonder if people really can read some one else's thoughts?...I think I'd go crazy trying to read mine..... but I think they'd make someone else reading them crazier....and good job too I say ..for thoughts dropping!!.

“You think you know someone by looking at his face but what can one face say about the thousand thoughts behind those eyes.” ― Marianne Wiggins, The Shadow Catcher

~ Wanda ~

To All Those Born In The 1920'S, 30'S, 40', 50'S, 60'S, 70'S..

I found this article on line, loved it could relate to it totally and consider myself, very gratefully may I add to be part of that era.....  


First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks some of us took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a Ute on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, Subway or Red Rooster.

Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Fruit Tingles and some fire crackers to blow up frogs and lizards with.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and cubby houses and played in creek beds with matchbox cars.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no videogames at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape or DVD movies, no surround sound,no mobilephones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents.

Only girls had pierced ears!

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross buns at Easter time.......no really!

We were given BB guns and sling shots for our 10th birthdays,

We drank milk laced with Strontium 90 from cows that had eaten grass covered in nuclear fallout from the atomic testing at Maralinga in 1956.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!

Footy had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

Our teachers used to belt us with big sticks and leather straps and bully'salways ruled the playground at school.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

Our parents got married before they had children and didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade'.....

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 70 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?

Time Keeps On Slipping, Slipping, Slipping...

I can't believe it's over two months since I last posted on here and it's not because I don't have anything to say - I'm actually quite a very communicative and happy to be so person...I think it's because there's been such a lot of things happening in that time that has taken over my time and thoughts and I have had to roll with it.

We had the unveiling on June 26 this year to commemorate the first year of the passing of my beautiful sister Ada and all the days and weeks leading up to it were filled with emotion and recollections.

On June 27 of this year I lost another beautiful sister in law to that effing disease cancer, even though we were told in March that she would only have another two or three months nothing ever prepares you for when it happens. I was 19 when I first met her - she was just a young girl about 11 years old and we slowly grew old together gathering children and grandchildren on the way but she will always be younger than me and somehow I find that a little unfair although ours is not to reason why!.

On a happier note toku hoa rangatira Eru turned 75  on July 17 and we had a small but wonderful little celebration with whanau at his favourite watering hole Mokai Awhina Club in Tuakau.
E mihi mahana, mihi tino aroha ki te whanau whanui tonu mo ta ratou tautoko, awhi hoki ki a ia me maua whanau mo tona ra whanau..Ka rawe koutou!!

Winter is here with not so much a venegance, it has been quite mild actually but there's been a lot of rain so maybe that's why it's not as cold as in past years and even though it's that time of year when there's a national sluggishness as a result the world is forever turning and as certain as day follows night and night follows day, there will be another Spring, followed by another Summer and so on and so on...confirming always that time truly does keep on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future...but Port Waikato will always be forever beautiful.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall..

I've got this hand mirror and I think it's a little over 100 years old. Silver backed, the glass itself is a little worn around the edges now but it still throws back one's reflection very clearly. It belonged to my beautiful Nanny Ada - she passed away in 1966 and it came into my possession after my Mum passed away in 2010. I know it was part of a set, there was a hairbrush with it as well but I don't know what happened to that. They both use to be on my Nanny Ada's dressing table.
I could spend forever talking about my Nanny Ada - she was truly one of those rare and beautiful human beings who touch our lives with magic when ever we were with them...I miss her always.
This morning I was having a great granny - great mokopuna chat with my 3 month old great grand daughter Sapphire and I took the mirror out of the cloth I have it wrapped in to let her see her reflection. As her eyes fixed on her image she became very quiet for a moment and then started chatting away in her baby chat. As I moved the mirror to the left or to the right - or raised it over her - her eyes followed it everywhere - and all the time she would chatter away.
In that small moment as I watched her, I thought how many other faces had looked out from that mirror over the last century....and just for a moment felt rather than saw a shadow of a smile from long ago and knew my mokopuna was not chatting to herself. That was a moment to treasure.

http://wandarap2005.blogspot.co.nz/

Growing Old Is Personal - To Me!

It's not even remotely funny this growing old thing. Ageing gracefully?...Pah! There's no choices left as to the way one wants to grow old - and one can delude oneself that it's a manageable process but it's not!.
I mean, there's all this happy happy joy joy thing with being the sweet little ol' gran whose grandchildren adore and love to be around. Well what is that? - is that a reward for being the conduit that created that reality? Who cares? - not me!.
I have to confess to loving my gran' with a passion and I know it was returned but did I truly appreciate the person that was her? I don't think I did in the way that I should have done - been more mindful and aware of her ageing process - I was 20 when she passed away and over the years have had many regrets that there were some gaps left of my making where she was concerned.
As my beautiful Mum went through her ageing processes I took a step back, not because my love for her lessened, in fact it grew stronger but on reflection that's what she was - a mirror in which I could see myself, and I did not enjoy the view - see what I mean about not managing the process?.
I can accept that growing old is inevitable and sometimes I do think about those who passed away in their prime, still young, cut off from living a full life or in some instances even beginning one and question my angst around growing old but in all honesty - on a particularly bad dotage day - I often wonder who is luckier - me or them?
As for bad dotage days where pain becomes a constant companion, well we've added to our family....so...good morning arthritis, rheumatics, heart disease, sleep apnoea, hypertension (waves to dementia waiting in the wings) and all the rest of the whanau...Have a good day! - and I'll be struggling to do the same....and as I said in my title...my growing old is personal - to me!.

What Is Mother's Day?

Mother’s Day is that one day in 365 to show your Mother how much you appreciate her for those other 364 days she  gave to you.

When you were small it’s that one day in the year to thank her for being  the nose wiper, the tears wiper, the hugs giver, the keeping you warm and safety provider

When you grow up it’s that one day in a year to thank her for being the broken heart mender, the carpet you walk on, the evergreen money tree, the free roof over your head, and the keeping the stomach full provider….(just part of the Job Description)

http://wandarap2005.blogspot.co.nz/

When A Day Truly Is A Good Day!

I woke up this morning and I thought today is going to be a good day. I know it's because of one of the most inspirational and beautiful pieces of writing I have ever read and one I return to over and over again when ever I feel myself slipping into one of those negative spaces that constantly challenge and control my emotional well-being.
It was written by the late and truly great - Bob Marley.
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” - Bob Marley

............and it was a good day!.

Seventy Shades Of My Life

    
Sometimes I feel ancient, way older than I am in years. This morning was not one of those although that thought always hovers nearby – no, this morning I felt a kind of mature wisdom and I thought Wanda, you need to pattern your life – don’t think about how long that might be – just put some shapes and colours to whatever you may have left of it !. So I arose from my bed, with a little bit of a buzz about that thought.

As I dressed and tidied up our little bach my thoughts started to draft an outline as to where to start and what that outline might look like.

So with renewed optimism, I powered up the generator,  turned on my computer and my music listening to Elton John singing Empty Garden in the back ground. I’m not sure what colour this moment is but I know it’s a warm one with a quite pleasant shape.

I guess as I start out on this newish road of self discovery I will probably find my thoughts turning to many such ponderings – but for now I’d just like to wish the universe, everyone and everything in it a deep and heartfelt Good Morning and hope it has a great day – as I intend to – because there’s nothing that can happen today that together me and my lovely Friend upstairs can’t handle!.

"Get Off The Scale"!

I am one of those sad individuals who has been cursed with that fat gene so life has been all about constantly battling the bulge and standing to be forever judged by that 'hanging' judge - the bathroom scales.....and then, one day I literaturely met Steve Maraboli - and my whole life and my podgy place in the universe changed forever when he wrote...

Get Off The Scale!

You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.

Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.

It's true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That's it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don't give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful! - Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

I love you Steve Maraboli..xx

Have You Ever Heard A Fly Laugh??

Some things that really challenge me are probably quite silly to others but I'm often challenged throughout summer in particular by that little nuisance - the household fly.

I don't mean in a way that's easily fixed with a good burst of fly spray or a plastic swat from the $2.00 Shop.
I mean that one pesky little mongrel that is the one in a zillion with a functioning brain that was bred just to piss me off!.

It always appears when I'm sitting watching something really interesting on TV and it KNOWS the fly spray can is empty and the fly swat is somewhere around but no-one knows where.

It lands usually at the hairline, top centre of my forehead and I swear, it seems to triple in size when it lands - and it ALWAYS does it in a way that makes me jump.

I slap it away but then, it hovers - just out of reach and to the side where I can't quite see it and after a few seconds - it zooms in again.

By this time I'm really pissed off and start battering my head and cursing at the little @@#$%.

This battle goes on for ages until I end up getting off my butt and leaving the arena.

Have you ever heard a fly laugh? It's not a pleasant sound

Liz Gilbert Knows A Few Things I Reckon

No-one speaks an absolute truth on life and romance more profoundly than Elizabeth Gilbert.

I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences - "addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story".

It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and rolling excitement. 

Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore-- despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). 

Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have 'that thing' even one more time. 

Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you're someone he's never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. 

The irony is,you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You're a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. 

So that's it. You have now reached infatuation's final destination-- the complete and merciless devaluation of self."

So true Liz....so true!

Man - The Great Unlearned

I was watching a beautiful documentary on TV this morning on wild creatures, living and roaming free and I thought to myself how organised this society of creatures are compared to we so called higher animal order creatures - and we have the audacity to call them"wild" and "untamed".!

They have beautiful societal infrastructures and an order to their lives that rarely changes - it is simply about surviving their allocation of time on this earth, they don't abuse, rape, murder on a scale that cripples their own on a physical, mental or spiritual plane and they instinctively know that their lives may be a challenge but it is a challenge borne of natural circumstance which they accept as their destiny.

Man, in comparison, is a moron!.